Life without anger -Fear of the unknown

April 10, 2011

“Change” is a fearsome prospect to many people. It can be daunting to depart the “familiar”. It is less frightening to stay with the (sometimes miserable) situation we’re in than to face the “unknown”. We can become “comfort junkies” and stay in an unhealthy relationship or lifestyle that is causing us pain. We can also stay in an unfulfilling job, not fulfill our dreams or let life pass us by. Fear of change is a learned belief, something that can be changed. This is know different when learning the skill of anger management.

Many of us (who have changed) are aware of the discomfort and anxiety that often accompanies any kind of change. We know that in between what we are now and what we hope to be there is a very uncomfortable hallway in which we need to be able to tolerate the ambivalence. This is the place at which many stop and go back to their old ways. We begin to second-guess ourselves and allow our fears to put us in “doubt”.

Know ahead of time that the process of change can be stressful and scary, but that this is not a reason to abandon change if it is in our best interest and will make us happier. It is often a time when we need to ask for help and support. In our experience we see must people adjusting the way they handle anger in their 3rd to 4th anger management class.

Our minds our much more powerful than we think. We need to make a “decision” to change and then mobilize ourselves using whatever tools we have (or learn) to follow through. It is exciting and meaningful when we get to the other side.

Some Tools: belief in yourself, support from others in your anger management group, patience, impassioned desire, faith, smart resources, understand your motive and intention, expect to make mistakes.

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